The Lure of a Purple Room

Principessa has been dreaming about sleeping in the purple room--- in Rocket's purple room- for months. Little did he realize last year, that he was sealing the fate of a bond with Principessa by choosing this color for what has become known as "Principessa's room." In typical Cara Mamma form, I have met these dreams with hesitation and disbelief---not really believing that Principessa would actually fall asleep in the only bedroom in the dark & cavernous lower level of the house- separated from the rest of us. 

So tonight, as Principessa and I braved Turkey Day traffic to cross the Potomac to Rocket's humble abode, I wondered. I should have known that the stars had aligned because we actually made it without having to really hit the brakes for any length of time.  Once Principessa's carriage was safely parked in the garage, she marched right upstairs to "surprise" Rocket....and after briefly learning to play Crazy Eights, and then of course, getting all excited because Cara Mamma the Elder and Papi the Brain were arriving, she even let me rinse her sinuses with a new Nasal Drop that is like almost like a Neti Pot.  Despite her early grumblings, she even got excited when the drops made their way through her sinuses and dripped out the other side. And then came bed time. 

We spread the Groovy Girls sleeping bag out on the bed, found a night light, and Papi the Brain commenced with the reading of the bed time story.  We talked about leaving lights on upstairs if she needed to come up and use the royal potty, and then after finishing our bedtime rituals, left her to "rest."  I realize that often times, I do not give Principessa enough credit--but really, who would have thought that bedtime could be so easy?  (makes me wonder if the cough syrup I gave her might have induced drowsiness???)  She did make her presence known once, as she quietly crept upstairs to use the royal lavatory (upon which I instructed everyone else in the room to IGNORE her)....but then, on cue, her tiptoes made their way down the stairs...and apart from a few idle coughs, she appears to have been lulled into dreamland by...none other than the purple room.    :) 

Blurred lines

Principessa got a camera for her birthday a few weeks ago. She has been snapping pictures of just about everything for days until today, the memory card was full and finally it was make or break time.  After a few clicks, her artistic efforts filled the computer screen and it became apparent, that this photojournalist in the making, really could not see (nor can she hold the camera still, or understand that getting too close to an object will result in --well, nothing). 

This confirmation came almost as a second opinion---coming on the heels of her very first appointment with the ophthalmologist. Not only is she near sighted (which for the record, watching your daughter really try, but really really not be able to see little shapes or letters is a bit discomforting--- on top of the fact, that not having my own glasses on--I also could not see), but she has astigmatism.  It is hard to understand that in her little five year old eyes, life is blurry, but in this case, a picture is worth a thousand words. 

The best part of the appointment was not having to hold her down for the eye drops that would dilate her eyes, or the constant chorus of "I can't see" after the drops---but as we transitioned to the part of the office that had lenses, her little primadonna eyes (shouldn't they have been blurred?) set her sights on a pink eyeglass case with a cat on it.  So not only did she want pink glasses--but she wanted the pink accompanying case. 

In a moment of genius, I,  realized that some of the glasses were "made by" Disney--and since this little fashionista is going to Disney World in a few short weeks--- all things Disney go straight to the top of the list.  So with some creative exchanging of lenses, Principessa chose a pair of gold rimmed metal glasses (the gold does have a slightly pink tone).  As is turns out, not only will her trip to Disney with Cara Mamma the Elder and Papi the Brain possibly be marred by a fever/rash (delayed result of her chicken pox vaccination from last week) but they will get to deal with convincing her to keep them on all day long even when the newness causes discomfort and maybe even strain!  I would say it is funny, but I almost (ok, not so much) feel bad :) 

Musings from Red and Rocket

"we are thinking..." ....says Red as she looks longingly at the bottle of wine of which she was not a part.  It was the end of a very long, but happy, evening shared with her loving friends of 11 weeks.  Is it a gestation period? No. Red and Rocket were seen fighting with the Budda Fingers while Cara Mamma was fighting with Captain Dad.  Sorry- it wasn't a fight, it was a "discussion" (at 80 decibels!). By the way, I've read this out loud to Rocket and Cara Mamma and I'm still lacking my fermented grape juice..."Oh, said Rocket.  You wanted something?" 

Whole Foods is my favorite store.  I've been banned by my loving husband (who is very jealous of my texting relationship with Cara Mamma) due to rising food prices.  I was secretly whisked away in Rocket's electric car as we raced towards the mother ship.  And then- we found out the truth.  Whole Foods has enoteca machines.   I was immediately drawn to the corner of my dreams.  Chateau D'Yquem on tap.  Sweet Jesus (better known as Chui). $16/oz who could ask for anything more?  Rocket made an executive decision, "Back to the casa we go! We will return for happy hour another day."  *sigh* On we went.  The cheese maven directed us to Henry.  Where was Henry?  We have no clue.  Never will.  It turns out that we were looking for Idiazabal.  That's right the cheese idiots were looking for the Idiazabal.  While we were tasting this lovely sheep's milk cheese I spied the the dried fungus.  Seriously.  Fungus.  What is the joy in eating fungus?  Fungus grows between your toes.  I even had a friend get a fungal infection in her ears.  Why in the world would someone eat fungus for fun?  It happens to make my palms itch.  I didn't have my epi-pen on me so we wandered on to get more food.  Little did Cara Mamma know that Rocket and Red are the worst grocery store decision makers e.v.e.r!  Ok, she did know, but she really, really, really likes us.  She was trying to be serious while Rocket was asking how to say heart of palm in Italian.  Does anybody out there know? I wandered over to the coffee.  Nectar of the goddesses since vino is the nectar of gods.  That's right- I left the love birds feuding in the salad bar section so I could smell the sweet scent of caffeine.  Once Rocket and Cara Mamma settled the greens issue we came to the close of our journey.  There were tears in my eyes as we walked away from Whole Foods. 

Supposedly there is photographic evidence of our escapades in Whole Foods.  No- well yes- but no it isn't video surveillance.  I am thankful for a good meal and the promise of enoteca bliss. 

By the way- I never got my glass of wine. Rocket made me espresso instead.

(Written by Rocket & Red, I am Cara Mamma and I approved this message.)

Yet Another Journey

Life is a journey. I know this- I have always known this. But today I was reminded of the truly emotional roller coaster ride of a journey that I started about three years ago.  The National Board of Professional Teaching Standards (NBPTS) is a highly renowned organization that, as I look back, encourages educators to climb Mt. Everest again and again and again---- only to realize that they were just dreaming and still have the mountain in their way.  Educators go through this process for a variety of reasons--some for the money, some for the title, and others, well lets admit it, because they are just silly.  I partook in the festivities as a distraction from my separation/divorce...(ok, there may have been other reasons but really- a newly separated, working single parent--what else is there to do?)

Somehow, after spending too many afternoons and evenings with my newfound friend (Facebook)--I eventually finished, watched tearfully as my box was given anxiously to the nice man at Fedex Kinko's on it's way to the land of Portfolios, and then sat back to wait.  When my first attempt did not make the cut, as in theory many do, I cried (and cried and cried, until my students came back from PE or Music or wherever they were, and then I think I cried again.)  Though really, I did not expect to "achieve"--somewhere deep, I knew that my portfolio and tests were not where they needed to be. I did not like to admit it, nor did I like being just like many other people embarking on a 2nd attempt, but by the time the day had finished, I had played with all the numbers, evaluated different scenarios, and finally decided to set my sights on two more entries and one more (math) test :( 

Today, six months after I had sent everything off with the help of the Fedex Kinko's man once again,  the "mid morning" release could not come soon enough.  I had the site bookmarked on my computer and iphone, and after about a dozen tries, finally I got through the busy server.  And as the screen was loading, I saw some new tabs on the side of my profile page that had never been there before.  The page took an eternity to load, and in the meantime, I had already lost it and was a mess of wet drippy tears.  The white text box finally appeared--I may have let out a little scream.  Papi the Brain was worried because I was in tears when I was called- and I am pretty sure that he thought he was going to need to console his Nena on her efforts.  Why was I crying? I have no earthly idea....

The truth is that I considered giving up last year.  I was actually video taping a lesson that in the end, earned the highest score in the entire portfolio, two days before spring break.  I had joked with my students at the time, that had the video not come out, they were going to need to come back to school during spring break so that we could try again.  The only thing that kept me going was... actually, I am not sure.  It may have been a combination of not liking to give up, feeling like I needed to prove something to myself---or the simple fact that I was not taking no for an answer. 

This was a massive endeavor --that realistically, does not mean that I am any better of a teacher. There a great many teachers that are excellent--and maybe smarter, that decide not to give up two spring breaks and hours and hours of time to write.  What it does mean, is that this year, I dont have to ship Principessa off to her Nonni....and yes, I will get to enjoy spring break.  :)

Three Shots...and we are still standing

It has come to my attention that my attempts at sarcasm about stress did not convey appropriately---and as much as I love my friends and family for being concerned...I am fine. I am not wallowing, nor am I drowning my sorrows in chocolate and wine.  I enjoy them, but cross my heart, I do not have a glass of wine and a large pile of hershey kisses next to me all day long.  My musings about stress are just that...musings.  Yes, I have lots going on in my life--- and at moments, I might even feel overwhelmed...but between my life, the life of those close to me, and then things that I observe---there is stress in the world.  And writing about it....is just a form of identifying it (just in case you had not had the honor and opportunity to meet it yet). 

Principessa had her own share of stress today... and wow, did she let everyone know. It was her "well child" checkup (which frankly, is pretty funny given her runny nose and cough, and oh right- dots on her face that still won't go away).... and in case she has not had enough to deal with, now we have to make an appointment with an ophthalmologist because as she stood there trying to name the shapes on the chart all the way down the hall (which for the record, were not clear to me either!)--- she very clearly, could not see.

Then of course, she scolded her pediatrician for not coming to her birthday--and he (no joke) excused himself from the room and came back with a peanut butter cup as an apology!  Really?  Chocolate from the pediatrician?  Talk about an all time high on the manipulation scale! In the end, she deserved the chocolate (and the sticker from the scant box of stickers on the germ infested counter).....because it was of course, time for shots.  And in true Principessa form, she was not going down without a fight.  They even called in reinforcements to help hold her down.  The mixture of screaming and crying was probably enough to scare away just about everything.  Three shots- each of which has the potential for flu or rash like symptoms....24 hours from now, a week from now, and then of course, three weeks from now.  I am pretty sure that her school is not going to just assume that the fever that they measure on one fine morning three weeks from now is related to her shots.... but that is ok...because she will be in Orlando three weeks from now with Cara Mamma the Elder and Papi the Brain.  Ouch....a fever at Disney World.  Watch our Orlando, Principessa is on her way...  :) 

So to recap, I am fine.  I have a bossy and manipulative daughter that might break out in a rash or have a fever, or that might need glasses, in addition to to her inhaler--but I am fine. Seriously----lets put it into perspective....I am a bride that needs to find a wedding dress....how much chocolate and wine do you all think I am really going to consume?    :) 

The how and why...

How it happens:  It happens...even to the most organized, most level headed, most optimistic....of us.  Anything from trying to be in six places at once, children with runny noses, schedules, real estate, fiances/spouses/ex-spouses, parents, siblings, rain, parties, shopping, money, laundry; or the ultimate in stress creating scenarios: having a deer run into your car.  There are no flu shots to prevent stress, it just happens.  

Why it gets to us:  Even the strongest of people, feels it.  You know it is taking over when even the person that you love most in the world can't make you feel better because you are feeling overwhelmed, have too many thoughts running through your head, have not had enough sleep, or have put aside your own needs and therefore become run down. Your friends try to cheer you up with thoughts of wine, you eat chocolate (and more chocolate, and then again more chocolate)-but beyond the few minutes of delirium where you mind is able to take a vacation....it is there.  It is not going away. 

So.... what does one do? (apart from eating chocolate and possibly consuming wine---or going on a very extravagant shopping spree?)  "We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same" -  Carlos Castaneda

"Tomorrow will be better..."

...is a line from the story Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse by Kevin Henkes.  In the story, Lilly (an exuberant little mouse) has a new purse (that is purple of course!).  She brings the purse to school to show off (or share) and the teacher that she adores, Mr. Singer, does something abominable:  he asks her to wait!  Lilly, overcome with anger, draws a terrible picture of her beloved teacher, and then... he responds.  The response simply is "tomorrow will be better."

Today, on the heels of a long week where my emotions might have gotten the better of me; Principessa and I drove out to an itsy bitsy little town in what she calls "horse town" (aka:  Middleburg) to meet with a florist.  Principessa was ready to commandeer the floral decisions, but abstained, picking her battles to achieve the ultimate victory:  flowers in her hair for the wedding!  And then the magic of all things purple, happened....

Under a cloudy (but not rainy) sky, we decided to take a leisurely stroll (ok, I promised Principessa she could have hot chocolate...so we were on a mission)... but then, out of the corner of my eye I saw it.  My very own purple purse (not plastic, but I dont think it is real leather either).  For a price that could not be beaten (a 2 digit price for a purse!  who knew it could be done?) I walked out of the boutique with a shiny, new purple purse.  Suddenly it was as if the sun was coming out, Principessa's cough no longer worried me quite so much, and I may have even been smiling!

Just like Lilly, I too, owed it all to my purple purse!